Fast Eddie

Okay, I will, from this point forward, stop saying Eddie Johnson is overrated. He's proven himself to me. And to everybody else, even if it was only against Panama.

Donovan shouldn't have been credited with his second, though. Clearly, that was another own goal. My friend claims there's a plot for Landon to unseat recent Hall of Fame inductee Eric Wynalda as leading scorer, so of course they'd give it to him.

I'm afraid to look at the papers, though, because "Fast Eddie" is only the tip of the pun iceberg. I was originally going to go with "Eddie's Money" or "Flowin' Eddie," and if I can come up with three that are that bad, just think what the sportswriters of American can come up with en masse.

Personally, I'd like to see someone go with the misdirection pun, like "Much Ado About Eddie."

"Big Johnson"? Somebody stop me.